Adventures

Okay, so that's sawdust from my planer, but I can dream, right?

... by our cleaning and cooking cowboy.

Everyone is pitching in today to get things in order before the bad weather next week.

Son, marry a woman who willingly stands beside you to hoist a hot water heater into place. However, don't assume she enjoys plumbing (even a little). Chances are, she just wants a hot shower before Thanksgiving.

Child 1, whining: "Papa, he took my flashlight RIGHT out of my hand and left me in the dark, and it's REALLY dark!"

Papa: (calls Child 2)

Child 2, without waiting to be interrogated (oh, and also whining): "But I had a REALLY good reason for taking the light... (goes on for three, Dickens- size volumes)"

Papa: "The bottom line is, if you steal something, no matter the reason, you don't get to keep it. Give him back his flashlight."

Child 2: "Yes, Sir" (proceeds to seemingly obey)

Papa (watching closely): "Give him the BATTERIES, too!" (Child 2 proceeds to give him the batteries.)

Papa (turns to Momma): "Do you ever feel like we're living in a soap opera?"

Momma: "Wait, you mean we're not?..."

Some have said there are 5 Baptist Distinctives, some 7, 9, or even 13. I'm going with 13, except that I just added two more:

#14) Frosties from Wendys are ONLY chocolate. Don't compromise your doctrine with other flavors.

#15) Mashed potatoes and gravy are a food group all their own, designed to be cooked with precise, priestly instructions, since it is the only dish we have left resembling Old Testament manna.

I'm thankful to have a hard-working group of boys to help out and learn a good work ethic!

You never know what you will encounter in ministry, working with people. I visited with a transvestite man today, who tried to justify the lifestyle that he had chosen with Bible, by saying that he is a modern-day Nazarite, and that he felt pure enough to do the service of the temple.

I also met a woman today who believed that she had the protection of God on her life, because the shadow of the crosses of three different neighborhood churches fell on her house. She then told me that she does not believe in Christianity, though, but rather follows the spirits of three goats that she sees and listens to from time to time. "It's nothing bad, though," she said, "because I've followed them for a long time, and I am old now, and nothing bad has happened to me even though I worship goats. I'm not dead yet."

Fellow Christians, we live in a mission field in the good ol' USA. Please pray for these people. Get out and witness to those around you. You will find folks who are trapped in superstition. You will find folks who use the Bible to justify sin. And, if we are not careful to heed sound doctrine that is preached in the local church, we will find ourselves in superstition, using our Bibles to justify our own apathy. Let's be salt and light.

... I couldn't cut down this oak tree with this dull hatchet if I wanted to!